Stumbling Towards Awareness

​Last week after George Floyd’s murder, my first instinct was to write and post, as writing is a form of therapy for me. While then immediately also acknowledging that my voice was not the voice that needed to be heard. Allowing space to be open to receive words, voices, and materials of those who experience racism that’s as present as the air we breathe.

How often do we have those impulses to react without allowing that next breath to create space for what truly needs to be received? The inner voice craves that next breath, that allowing and receiving. And what magic can be experienced if we align with it!

As I’ve heard from many of you, I share in feeling paralyzed with fear for saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing as we experience our collective learning & un-learning. But we’re going to screw up- I’m going to say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, make an inappropriate remark. Because that’s part of learning, of waking up.

I reflect on all the other times in life when I’ve experienced a great waking up. Experiencing therapy for the first time, continuing my recovery journey, going through a divorce, walking the yogic path, becoming a Reiki practitioner, and on and on it goes. Throughout all of these journeys I started by stumbling, searching, reaching. And along the way, saying and doing things that would make me cringe now. However, remaining open and continuing to learn.

Inner voice work has also served me during quarantine and as of late. When we give the inner voice the platform to speak, she speaks nothing but truth and unconditional love. I’ve imagined what the world would look like if we were all living in alignment with our inner voices and it brings tears to my eyes.

This also shows me how much this work is needed in the world. It gives me hope that transformation occurs in many forms: reading, watching, speaking, marching, and also looking within through meditation, journaling, healing trauma through energy & body work, yoga, EFT, and inner voice work.

I look forward to continuing to stumble along as I become more awakened to what is the living reality for so many. I also encourage you to continue to read, research, talk and make mistakes along the way with an open and eager heart.
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Because at the end of the day it’s a privilege to be able to talk about racism, read about racism, and learn about racism, without actually experiencing racism.